Football and Childbirth

Men talk about sports like women talk about childbirth.

It's true. Get a couple guys together and they are talking about some game. Get some women together and our conversation goes quickly to birth stories.

Here's how it goes:

1. Did you see that football game Saturday? / How did the birth go?

2. Well, Wichita had been having a great season up until they played El Paso. / She had a great pregnancy, but had so much heartburn towards the end.

3. First, Wichita had the ball and they didn't do anything the whole first quarter. / Her water broke and they rushed to the hospital only to find out her labor completely stopped!

4. Just before half time, El Paso did this double play and fouled the ball! / Finally, after 15 hours she was 5 centimeters dilated and in SO much pain!

5. Wichita was tired, but finally got going, scoring 17 points in the next inning. Then they were at 50 yards and couldn't make a play. (ok, use your imagination...I know nothing about football OK?) / She finally got the epidural because by that time she was just exhausted. Then she pushed for an hour and nothing was happening!

6. Then in the last 7 seconds, El Paso intercepted the ball and made a touchdown, winning the game. The final score was 25-21. / Then the baby went into distress and the doctor performed an emergency cesarean. The baby was 9 pounds 11 ounces. No wonder she couldn't get it out!