Standing up to the Russian-Mob Henchman

The Russian-Mob Henchman:

The guy really does look like a scary mobster. I took this picture discretely and left the camera on the counter, just in case the guy kidnapped me, Wayne could give the picture to the police so they could identify the guy. (Notice the gloves....don't want to get fingerprints anywhere!)

Anyway, I am getting WAY ahead of myself...

Wayne yet again sold his car and bought another one. The car he sold went to someone in Maryland via Ebay. So it had to be shipped on a semi. We were told the semi would be here Friday. On Tuesday afternoon, this guy showed up to get the car. He spoke very rough English, and looked like he worked for the mafia part-time. I was home, and had to sign for the car. The guy took out his clipboard and started walking around the car like a seamstress inspecting the stitches on a quilt. Every once in a while he would rub off the dirt with his thumb to make sure there were no scratches. He opens the door to look inside, where Wayne put the spare set of tires that were bought with the car.

Henchman: "What ees thees?"

Me: "A spare set of tires."

Henchman: Shakes his head. "No, no, no, thees not good. Thees add weight. Thees be problem."

Me: "Four tires add too much weight?"

Henchman: "Yees, I need hundred dollar extra."

Me: "Each tire weighs, what, 20-30 pounds? So 120 pounds makes that much of a difference?" (The guy has eight cars on his semi for crying-out-loud)

Henchman: "I cross state line, I pay PER pound, tax. I pay dollar per pound." Shakes his head. "You undeerstand?"

Me: "It cost you a dollar per pound every time you cross the state line?" (Right....)

Henchman: "Yees. Hundred dollar more."

Me: If it cost a dollar per pound he would need $120 if the tires are 30 pounds each. And that just gets him to Utah. So if his theory is right it should be more like $1,000 extra to get the car to Maryland. I called Wayne to make sure I wasn't misunderstanding anything for some reason. I also asked him if he were on his way home, hoping he would be here soon. He said he had to work late. Gulp. So I told the henchman that it didn't make sense to have to pay a hundred dollars extra, and if he needed more, he would have to get it from the people who bought the car and were paying for it to be shipped. I also told him my husband would be home 'soon.'

The henchman told me he would 'make some calls' and went back to his truck. I hid in the house and waited. The guy eventually began to load the car, and I began to relax. He finally left, and when Wayne got home, I told him for the tenth time, YOU ARE NEVER BUYING ANOTHER CAR!