Monday, May 20, 2013

Dr. Gross

I told Wayne he needed to write a guest post about his trip to the dermatologist, but he refused. I then realized that it is better I write it. You see, Wayne is actually a published journalist, although only in science journals. You would need to read it with a dictionary and dermatology book next to you. Yes, I better write this one.

Wayne went to visit Dr. Gross, a dermatologist. I am not attempting to be comical, or use a pseudonym for anominity. The dermatologist's name is Dr. Keith Gross. 

Wayne wanted to have several skin moles looked at, as well as his infamous 'lumps' examined. Wayne has several 'lumps' on his body, apparently they are harmless and are common in his family. Poor Penelope.

Wayne arrived for his appointment at the dilapidated strip mall semi hidden behind a Subway. The receptionist barely looked at him, preferring to speak loudly to someone else about her hair appointments and split ends. Wayne was soon called into a room sparsely furnished with old oak furniture and a wall filled with exposed medical equipment.

When Dr. Gross came in he didn't introduce himself, but just said, "What can we do for you?"

Wayne explained about the lumps, and Dr. Gross bluntly said, "Well, if you want me to take them off, I can. We can do it right now. It's up to you."

Wayne told him he'd think about it and asked if he would look at the moles on his back. Dr. Gross looked at his back, grabbed his ball point pen, and quickly circled four. "These need to come off," he said, and grabbed a needle and scalpel. Wayne was a little wide eyed at Dr. Gross's directness, but didn't really have time to ask any questions before the doctor was shooting him with Novocain.

About six minutes later, Wayne had five spots removed. Dr. Gross told him to 'come back in a week' but as he left no one seemed very interested in either scheduling an appointment or paying for 12 minutes he was in at the office.

I guess the conclusion of the matter is this: If you aren't ready to go under the knife, don't go visit Dr. Gross.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like friendly reception, excellent bedside manner complimented with outstanding explanatory skills!! Good grief I would have high tailed in out of there before Dr McCrazy took a slice off me!!!

    ReplyDelete

Browse our travel blog at www.worldgallivanter.blogspot.com.