The guy with the striped shirt and other stories

The guy with the striped shirt
Every week or so, I have the daunting task of ironing Wayne's shirts. You know, those long-sleeve button-up....oh, wait, the only shirts he ever wears. Occasionally, I suggest that he wears a short sleeve shirt, and Wayne looks at me, shaking his head, and says, "Sheena..." as if it were a monumental sin to bare his forearms. But there was this one time when Wayne didn't always wear button-up shirts. He wore a long sleeve striped polo shirt. And he wore in a lot during college. Years after his striped polo shirt phase, he ran into someone he knew from school. It happened to be one of those semi-awkward moments when Wayne remembered the person, but the person didn't remember him. This other student finally had a lightbulb turn on inside his head and said, "Oh, you were the guy that used to always wear the blue and orange striped shirt!" Apparently the guy didn't recognize Wayne in any other apparel. At least Wayne wears several DIFFERENT long sleeve button-up shirts now.

Mom's loud voice
One of the times mom came to visit, Penelope and I picked her up at the airport in Salt Lake. Upon getting in the car with us, mom exclaimed, "OH PENELOPE!! HI!!! THERE'S GRANDMA'S GIRL!" Or something to that affect. And she said it in her normal voice, which I always tease her, is usually LOUD.   Penelope immediately burst into tears, and Grandma was sad that she had scared her.

Speaking of mom's loud voice (or as my uncles would say 'big mouth'), her voice is usually even louder on the phone. For some reason, she must think that since the person isn't in the same room as her, she has to talk loudly so they can hear her. You might be at a restaurant when mom's phone rings, and you hear, "HELLO? OH HI. YES, THAT'S RIGHT..."

Well, another thing mom is good at, is having her phone dial people when she isn't trying to call them. One time, we were in an office building, and walked up to the quiet reception desk. Since it was quiet, you could hear this coming from her purse: "Anne, Anne, you called us again...." It was my grandma, who was used to such frequent calls. Mom grabs the phone and starts yelling into it, "HI MOTHER, SORRY. YEP WE ARE HERE AT THE APPOINTMENT. I'LL CALL YOU LATER. OK BYE!" For reasons unknown I normally cringe when mom's phone rings.

Anyway, the last time we saw mom, when she met us at the airport, she tiptoed up, and quietly whispered, "Hi sweet baby, there's Grandma's girl!"

Maddie's talent show
A little while back, I got to go to my little cousin Maddie's talent show at school. Maddie just completed the first grade. Before the show, when we arrived at the classroom, the kids were playing I Spy. One boy kept calling on people to guess what he had spied. Soon another little boy raised his hand, and, without being called on by the teacher, whined, "Mrs. Teacher, he's only calling on his friends to guess." His teacher, quickly said, "Shhh, we're all friends." Aww, what a nice little world. Soon, another little boy was complaining about something that I thought was funny, and chuckled quietly. The first grade girl in front of me turned around, rolled her eyes, and said, "He always does that. Then he always starts crying." Sure enough, the boy was soon sniffling.

Maddie's little 'friends' put on quite the array of 'talents'. There were several gymnasts and cheer leaders, some that shared an art project, and some that sang or played the piano. When it was some students turn, they decided they didn't want to do their talent, or just didn't want to do it right now. One boy's talent was dancing, and he walked around the room moving only is hands for several long minutes until the teacher told him he was done.

The most entertaining thing at the first grade talent show was the mothers that came to watch. I have been becoming more away that a certain demograph of mothers strive to show the world their perfect lives. They have perfect hair, perfect children, and perfect houses. They are never tired, ugly, or upset. They probably have perfect plaque and ear wax, if they have any at all. Anyway, one of the mothers came in dressed as though she were hitting up a nightclub in Vegas after the talent show. She had on platform heels, designer jeans, a sequined sleeveless shirt, and her hair was long and curled to perfection. If I'm ever going to compete with these ladies I'm going to need to get busy, I'll need the next five years to perfect my life in time for P's first grade talent show.