The Trial of a Marriage

Three words: Home Improvement Project.

Spoiler Alert: Wayne and I are both still alive. And we are sleeping in the same bedroom.

We have been talking for a while about making our backyard patio into a nice place where we can relax and barbeque during the summer. There were several drawbacks that we had come across, so we kept putting it off. First of all, our beautiful view is on the front side of our house, the backyard faces houses, sagebrush, and lots of dry Nevada landscape. The backyard also has no shade, and is very hot and bright during summer evenings. The project would also cost quite a bit, starting with rock or pavers  on the ground.

In June, Wayne and I came up with a grand idea. On the front side of our house, there is a cement pad that extends off of our garage. We decided if we made an outdoor relaxing area there, we would have the nice view and we could build a privacy wall for shade and, well, privacy. Since there was already a cement pad, there would be little cost involved, and the work could be done ourselves. We should have stopped right there, felt our soft palms, and thought of a better idea. But we didn't. Who can't build a simple fence? A simple fence that you buy 'pre-assembled' at Home Depot? It couldn't be that hard, and we were excited about doing something ourselves, and thought of the satisfaction we would feel when it was completed. (I should have remembered the time when Wayne asked me where the tools were kept.)

We went to Home Depot and bought fence panels, posts, cement, and a few energy drinks. Energy drinks are one of those things, like candy, that find their way into shopping carts whenever Wayne comes shopping with me. They probably weren't needed. Looking back though, something a little stronger maybe would have been a good idea, but I don't know if Home Depot sells anything like that. I will have to check, if in fact I ever go into a Home Depot again. 

We realized ahead of time that digging post holes ourselves WAS a bit of a stretch, so we smartly rented a post hole digger. We also were smart and realized that there MAY be electrical wires underground, so we called the 'call before you dig' number to get the lines marked. That set us back a few days, but we were glad we waited when we saw that there were electrical lines where we were to dig one of the posts. 

Things were going smoothly until I realized that the post hole digger required two people to operate, and the only people I saw were Wayne and Penelope. Once Penelope was in bed, I somehow managed to assist Wayne with the holes, with the help of a bag of cement on my side to add some weight. 

After waiting for the weekend - and my sore muscles to revive - we continued by lining up the fence posts and six foot fence panels. It was then that we discovered that a 'six foot fence panel' is not six feet, but rather 67 inches. So the fence panels wouldn't work. We decided to find six foot panels that were actually six feet rather than drill new holes. We ordered them online, returning the others to Home Depot. Our fence building was set back another few weeks. 

We were a little bit set back when the fence came and it wasn't all together, but a 'self-assembling' model. So we started putting the fence together, on a day when it seemed to be 95 degrees by 8AM.

Soon Wayne wanted me to help him make something 'level'. 

Me: It is level.

Wayne: No! Level with THIS.

Me: It is level!

Wayne: NO! Level with THIS!

Me: I have no idea what you mean, because it IS level.

Wayne: NO! Here, take the level here and here and make sure it's equal.

Me <<(It was level...but I used the tape measure, pushed the fence this way and that, and grunted a few times.)>>OK It looks level.

Wayne was satisfied, and we continued. The next few hours were filled with noises that sounded like this: "AAAAHHH!" "OUCH!!!" "Hold it steady. No, right here!" "ARGGG.." "I'm never doing any home projects ever EVER again!" and "Waaaahhaaaahh!" The "Waaaahaaahh" didn't always come from Penelope either. 

Somehow the fence got put together, with the exception of the panel and post that would have electrocuted us if we had drilled. Unfortunately the fence is a bit crooked, but Sunday night when we had guests over for the evening, it worked perfectly. And we felt a huge sense of accomplishment in our crooked three-panel fence. However, I don't think we will be doing any more 'projects' around the house any time soon. If we do, no matter what the contractor charges, it will be a great deal.

The outdoor patio area

 Figuring out what boxes are for.

Already trying to wear mommy's shoes.

I came in the living room to see this - she had pushed the car to the piano, climbed up to the piano bench and was playing a song.

Penelope and her buddy Tanner