Boom, Bang and Bimb

We’ve all been reading and re-reading the blog lately. Penelope didn’t know that I was one of those super hip moms in the 2010s that had blog. Here is one that never got published, written in early 2012.

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No, we didn't hear or feel the big boom last week as a meteorite arrived in the Sierra Nevadas. However, this weekend we met Bang, a colorful Vietnamese lady who was just as exciting.

Wayne attended a conference in Colorado Springs, and Little P and I tagged along. There were several 'activities' planned for the spouses that came, most of which involved alcohol. Champagne brunch, Bloody Mary mixer, buzzed jewelry making class, etc. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I'm not sure which, having a little baby eliminates you from most social functions. But one of the evenings, I arranged to have a babysitter so we could both attend a banquet dinner. 

We sat down at a table with Bang (pronounced 'bong').

"Hi there! I Bang! This my husband!" She loudly announced, too no one in particular. Her husband is some bigwig at a company involved in mining. Her dinner conversation went something like this:

"I buy gold in Vietnam. In Vietnam gold everywhere! I bring it back to US, hope the price of gold doesn't go down, pray to God!! I can't wear it, I wear silver!" She holds up her hands to show an array of jewelry. "I no work, I let Bruce work! Thank the Lord!!" She does some sort of namaste pose. "I buy Barrick stock at 59. Fifty nine! Pray to God!" She does what I think is a Catholic arm movement from her head to across her shoulders. And on it went...

Bang and her husband seemed to be very well off. But as our main course arrived, she immediately asked a server for a to-go box, and stabbed her steak, her husband's steak, several pieces of bread from the table, and any other condiments and silver wear that were not otherwise attached to the table. Bang's husband remained silent throughout our dinner, or maybe it just seemed that way because of the volume of Bang. Bang didn't seem to be drinking excessively, it just seemed like she was excessive in sharing her personality.

The next morning we ran into Bang at another function, where I had brought Penelope.

"OOOOOHH! A baby! Oh, can I hold her? Oh, she beautiful! Oh! She have no hair!" She grabbed Penelope, and another lady that was previously conversing with Bang made her escape. "I'll see you later, Bang," she said, and quickly headed for the stairs. Bang turned the volume up to high and yelled "See you later! God bless you, Pray to God! Have a good day!" very loudly. Since we were in a rather uppity hotel, one of the hotel patrons looked at her gravely and told her she needed to be quiet. "Oh! I so sorry! I so sorry!" Bang stage whispered, and then her cell phone rang. She handed Penelope back to me, and I decided to make my escape as well. Bang started chattering loudly and happily in Vietnamese, and Penelope and I headed out.