Due Date Blues

The most important thing I have to say today is this: Just because today is the baby's official due date doesn't mean the baby is going to magically pop out in a shower of glitter.

Other than that, just because I'm pregnant doesn't make it suddenly appropriate for casual acquaintances or even strangers to have VIP access to the happenings of my uterus and other body parts. I do not want to talk to you about how much weight I've gained, colostrum, or mucus plugs. Please don't tell me about yours.

If one more person tells me to eat some spicy food to get the labor going, I will give up Tums for the remainder of the pregnancy to watch them get beaten with a shank made of urine sample cups. You were warned.

Oh, and since we're just sitting around here, err, waiting, we might as well talk about Dr. Winch. Remember him? I have thankfully switched doctors after my last pregnancy, so I haven't seen Dr. Winch in a long time. Well, since the morning Penelope was born and he rushed out of the delivery room and never checked on me again. Rumor has it, (from a reliable source) Dr. Winch has been 'suspended' from practicing at the hospital for allegations including, but not limited to: Yelling at nurses. Yelling at patients and their spouses. Threatening nurses, patients and spouses. Throwing things at nurses. And following a husband out into the parking lot to initiate a 'fight'. Yep, that guy's a winner.

One last thing. If you are one of those people that texts every morning just to make sure I haven't given birth and (gasp) not told them, I'm making a list and you will be last to know. Actually I probably won't even tell you. You can hear it from someone else.

Disclaimer: If I sound harsh, just remember I'm pregnant. Any and all of my ranting and opinions can be rescinded after delivery.