A day at the spa.

Two kids in a crusty hotel. Pretty much a day at the spa right? Hey I don't have to clean or cook so I'm looking on the bright side.
 

Coffee makes everything better.

I actually like hotels. OK, maybe I love them. It probably started when I was a kid and the swimming, limitless cartoons, and occasionally meals that consisted solely of pizza or donuts.

Staying at a hotel was the first time my brothers and I were exposed to things like television. And door peepholes.  And nudity, expletives, game shows, national news, deadbolts, and the close range volume of my dad's snore. And the 'don't you open this door unless the hotel is on fire' threat from my mother, if she were to leave us alone in the room. (Yes, people actually did that and we survived and my mom has never been to jail that I know of.) Ok, we were old enough to be left alone in a hotel, I'm sure my older brother was at least six. 

However, hotels have a few things that get my goat. 

For instance, why do they wrap a thin blanket in sheets and then tightly stuff the whole thing under the mattress?

A straight jacket for beds.

Trying to pull down your bedding is like dragging a two year old out of the grocery store after you told her she couldn't have a king sized Snickers.

Then there is the short, satiny, decorative..... piece of fabric. It doesn't even deserve a name, as it had no use. More often than not, it doesn't even cover the bed. As someone who occasionally has the experience of sleeping, I like to have a proper bedspread. Or even blanket. No such luck at hotel. You are forced to sleep with little bedding to keep you warm.

Foot-of-bed-thingy.

And then there's the lighting. Have you ever been to a hotel that had decent lights? Every one that I have been in has  a collection of 2 to 7 lamps. Each one has one to two switches. Yet even with all seven lamps on, the room is still dim and dark. Ready for a quiet, romantic evening. Perhaps there will be a good movie on, that you can watch without any interruptions and hear all the words. Since that is what to expect with two kids. Actually it's more like chaos in a dimly lit 20x30 room, bed jumping contests, the excitement that 'our hotel has a bathroom with TWO sinks!' - until 8PM sharp, when it's suddenly dim-lights-off, go to sleep, nobody-make-a-noise IT'S BEDTIME. Don't even think about using the restroom until morning type isolation. If you roll over, do it at the same time as the heater kicks in. SHHHH!!!