Flying Mice and Other Subjects Of Note

Why are children magnetically drawn to a pile of freshly swept dirt?

Is it a requirement for public swimming pools to have used band-aids everywhere? Penelope and I are taking parent-tot swimming lessons. Imagine 6 two year old's screaming while 8 parents try to imitate fish and use silly words to try to make their child blow bubbles. The other two children in the class are found at the bottom of the pool. You get the picture.

We had our friends Brad and Cori and Penelope's little pal, Leah, over for lunch. It is great to have friends that are in same misery boat as you. No one freaked out when on Penelope walked into the room with a dirty diaper around her ankles. And no one blinked when, at the table, I looked down to see I still had some of the diaper contents smeared on my forearm. Nice.

Wayne has turned into Mr. Fix It! You know those fancy refrigerators that actually make your ice for you and fill your cup with ice and water? Well, ours has that, it just isn't hooked up. After three years of Wayne complaining that there are never any ice cubes... After three years of telling Wayne that all he needs to do is to attach the ice cube maker hose to the wall... After three years, Wayne says to me, "You never told me I could just hook up the ice cube maker and it works?!" We are high-rollers now. We get ice water from our fridge any time we want.

One morning Wayne non-chalantly said to me, "So, there was a bird in our room last night." I looked at him for a minute, and then said, "NO, there was NOT a bird in our room."

"Oh yes," Wayne said, "There definitely was. I'm not sure what kind, small like a hummingbird but it didn't sound quite like one."

One of us is insane. Either it is Wayne because he is hallucinating, or me because if there really is a steathly bird somewhere in our house I will go insane. Because that means there is a bat in our house and bats are like flying mice, and we all know how I feel about mice.